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JordanScott7
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Name: Jordan
Gender: Male
Interests: Love Life cereal and all ice cream. Love movies and intelligent conversation...sometimes..I like to read, spiritual stuff and Tolkien. I love running and riding my bike. Love a good conversation. Love all sports and the Carolina Panthers rule! The Tarheels! I love being with friends and revelling in the great company of others. Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! Nobody!
Expertise: Broadcasting and Advertising. I also can play some mean spoons
Occupation: Student
Industry: Media
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
10/15/2003
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| My life is stress. It's real, hard, and unforgiving. It is also a blessed life that grows wonderful fruit from the seeds I plant. I have done a lot of planting, talking, soul-searching, and thinking about my life lately. Pondering the idea of responsibility, financial insecurity, and growing old. I've talked about my battles from within, my bouts with failed romances, my longing for affection. I am a loving person and love to share my feelings for others; friends, family, and others. I often feel it isn't reciprocated and that gets me down. I don't ask for a lot. I'm a kid who just wants one toy on Christmas Day. Wanting one hug from an abusing dad. One night of peace in a war-torn country. I love my friends. I extreme-walked with the pros today. I yelled at Josiah, Jenny, Mark, Jessica and the rest. Being immature is invigorating. It enriches the soul and lightens the mind. I love to talk, for those that know me best. When I get quiet, that means "it's talk time." If you want to chat it up about life, love, school, politics, Chuck Norris, depression, or overall performance of chipmunks in clinical makeup trials...let's do it. I'm game.
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| I may have not told some of you all about this. But I guess you should know. I used to have a lot of problems. Not like, I can't beat level 13 of Frogger problems...big stuff. I went through a span during high school until my sophomore year at ASU where I was deeply depressed, anorexic, and my self esteem was too low to measure. I dropped something like 15 pounds in one week in high school. I seriously thought about suicide on a daily basis. I felt so unloved. I felt like I was alone in the world and I told no one about what I was going through or feeling. I yelled at God alot. I blamed him for the things I did wrong.
Why do I tell you this? I say this now because this stuff still haunts me everyday. It pricks at the back of my neck everytime someone pinches my side, calls me big, or i get called weird. It isn't any where near the level it used to be, but it really messes with me. I have heard people tell me that I was the most confident and most assure person they knew. I guess I do act that way, unintentionally. Really, I am just a shy kid who was forced to act crazy and cut up, and maybe even exude confidence to hide how scared and lonely he really felt. I'm battling with this stuff right now. But now I can confide in others about my issues. I love my friends. Now I shout at God, but it is to thank him for the wonderful people in my life. I'm very scared about graduating and being on my own. I don't want to have to battle these things on my own. Maybe it'll get better. I hope so. For now, I just live day to day and hope that tomorrow will be a little brighter and a little better than today. Pray for me everyone. God Bless you all. I know I'll be fine...all in due time.....
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| Today I held my grandmother's hand and watched her struggle with sickness that was so beyond her. I watched her hold my hand tightly and tell me how much she thought about me and loved me. How much she was concerned about me? This is true selflessness. How can I be more like that. I wish I was concerned more about other people than I am toward myself. I guess with age, comes a different sense of self and importance in this life. I want to hold my friends hands and tell them how much I'm thinking and praying about them at night and all day. Even if I'm so sick I don't know if I'll live to see the sunset. I want that.
Life is so strange right now...So unlike me. Upside down. Maybe It's for the best....
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| So, it has been over a week since the bike wreck. For those of you that don't know of it already...I had a serious wreck that occurred while I was trying to save some children. I'm so heroic. Anyway, the wounds and scabs are looking better (which may look worse) and morale is high. School is as busy as ever but I feel like my social life is at a new level where I've never been before. Yes, Jordan has friends....so long teddy bears. My friends are great and so loving and supportive of me, that it is crazy. I am so blessed in this life I lead. It's like I always pass Go and collect 200 dollars. I can't wait for this weekend for my retreat and partying it up with my homies, and maybe even some resting time mixed in there.
Lovin life...more than Bill Gates
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| Last night I got a little out of control. I may have locked myself in my car. I did push ups like I owned the floor. I slept for many minutes upon completion of those push ups. God has truly blessed me with the people I'm surrounded with in my life. He puts this driftwood in my flooded life. I yell at God all the time. I blame him, curse him, and doubt how good he is. I fear God. But do I really know what he is capable of? No. I want to live life as if no one but God is watching. I would not be chastised or criticized because of my occasional drink, a cuss word here and there, or even the goofy embarrassing things I do on a regular basis that draw scorn from so-called "loving" Christians and Godly people. Some of the greatest Christians on earth drank a pint now and then and even cussed like a sailor. A really big, hairy, smelly, lonely sailor at that. I'm just going to be me. If you don't like it, then that's just dandy. I don't like stuff you do either. Croqueting is for sissies anyway....
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